this beautiful little face has been what i have been looking at more often than not over the last few weeks.
after a second bout of illness picked up at his daycare, which was never a good fit for him, we pulled our youngest out.
so now i find myself trying to balance settling in to our new home with the suddenly GINORMOUS needs of a three year old.
terrible twos did not happen for us, really. but the tempestuous threes are hitting pretty hard.
volatile is not over describing his personality right now. he swings from gleeful highs to treacherous lows that have been known to involve long minutes of screaming until he tires himself right out. minutes and minutes and minutes and minutes. like an hour of minutes. and always right under a window. i am sure our new neighbours love us.
i am not new to this motherhood game. i am beginning to wonder if my age now versus twelve and nine years ago is playing a role in my lack of ability to roll with the tantrums. i used to roll with the punches ( metaphorical of course ) so much better. even find humour in them. now? not so much.
i find myself wanting to give in to whatever the demand of the moment is just to reclaim some sense of…quiet in my day.
but i fear what that will lead to the next time. because there will be a next time. and one after that…right? 300 more days of three…
will someone promise me that four is easier? i have forgotten what comes next in the din that is motherhood over here right now.
and anyone who tells me one more time, little kids, little problems? big kids, big problems.
i have big kids, you can rationalize with them. or at least threaten effectively. there is no bargaining with a three year old. not in this house. not today.