sushi sat at this window the night hudson died, from the time mark left with him, until he came home without him.
she is still at this window every day, all day, when i am home with her.
apparently, when i am not here, she does not do this…somehow she just seems to feel that if i am home, then hudson *should* be home as well.
perhaps she believes that when i leave, there is a chance i will come back with him.
it is breaking my heart.
i was on the floor with alex today and she came over and sat in my lap and just whimpered for a very long time. maybe it was only three minutes…but it felt like an eternity, with her staring at me right in the eyes. she just does not understand.
i have not washed his blanket yet, because i read that it is good to keep the scent of the other dog aroudn as long as possible. i take her with us every chance i get…she really has not been alone for more than 20 minutes in a week, she is getting all kinds of walks and she is sleeping with holly now.
and yet when she found a spot that smelled like hudson? on the rug in our bathroom? she went nuts, sniffing and rolling in it like nothing i have ever seen her do before. i am not washing that either. ever at this point…
what do you do? it was hard sharing the news with the kids? but how do you deal with a dog who is missing her sibling…
i swore we would not get another dog. two dogs is a lot of work. was a lot of work. would be a lot of work. and hudson was A LOT of work;).
i am not sure i am up for that ever again.
but then i look at her lying so quietly, just staring at me, so lonely?
and i would do just about anything to make her happy.
stupid dog. breaking my heart.
stupid dog. dying at 14 of something not even age related.
stupid me, crying over the stupid dogs.
remind me why we have pets again?
|hudson – november, 1996 – january 2011|