i finally finished babya’s book of 365 photos from his “photo a day” project.
which was really 400 some photos chronicling the first year of his life.
which, for those of you that know me, know was a bit of a crazy year. and those of you who don’t…
well, trust me, it was a rough start for this little guy. for all of us.
nothing life threatening (well, okay, maybe…but we had no idea of the allergies at the time and still consider ourselves lucky) thank goodness, but definitely not the lovely infanthood we experienced with our other two.
and the beautiful thing is that through the photos you can actually “see” the transition from his very cry filled, agitated, unsoothable disposition into the laughing, loving toddler we now have zooming around our house. it was not so obvious to me then. even in the year after.
but now, with almost two years between me and that time, it is a wonderful thing to re experience.
i had the book for my own 365 project finished, published and shipped within a matter of weeks. easy peasy.
not so easy.
every time i went to do it
( five times according to blurb.com’s record of loaded and unfinished projects ), i simply got overwhelmed and walked away.
i was stressed about what to write, how to write it, what to remember, what to downplay…
and then the other night i just did it.
i just sat down and decided to worry about what to write after.
it took me hours to get everything just so.
well…it likely could have taken me a lot less time if i hadn’t stopped to reminisce every few minutes.
because who knew that a scrunchy screamy face that once drove me to tears regularly, could bring out such strong feelings of love and affection now.
i was criticized by a few people at the time for posting photos on flickr of the baby crying and screaming…but those now are the photos that remind me most of how far we have come, what an awesome little dude he is and how i likely developed some of my best parenting skills ever because of him.
life skills even.
but a few other things also became obvious.
this baby required parenting from all of us – me, mark, jake and holly. a team effort.
and that is somehow not really reflected in the book. the rest of the team somehow got lost in the craziness. there are photos of everyone…but not enough to really represent the amount of love, time and patience they gave to alex. even at his most difficult.
it was a very baby centered year, one that has changed dramatically since his allergies were diagnosed, but the fact that the other members of our family were not all that visible does not sit well with me.
the big kids and mark were so awesome.
it still takes all of us to keep up with him these days but the tone is much different.
the big kids still carry a fair bit of responsibility in terms of keeping their baby bro safe from things that can make him sick ( at this point peanuts, eggs, dairy and soy ) but they are as well versed as we are in the whole thing.
they read labels like pros and are hyper aware of triggers. just ask the ladies at our local subway, where jake requests ( oh so politely of course, that they change their gloves to a fresh pair when they make the baby’s sub – cross contamination and all, he explains to them…).
but back to the book…
when i finished getting the photos just so, i realized something.
words were simply not necessary…the story of his first year tells itself through the photos.
words would have just taken away from the images, so word less it remained.
like a good mommy i have his milestones recorded somewhere…but when it comes down to it, his first year was a time of reaction and action and raw emotion and gut feelings…and no cute store bought baby book could have captured it better.
i don’t think that i will ever undertake another 365 ( even though i still take photos daily ) but damn am i happy with this one.
and my crazy little guy.
and this photo is my choice for the august break on flickr