i am exhausted.
i am exhausted most of the time, but particularly so today.
why? because i actually worked all day. aside from an official one hour lunch break, i did not stop “doing” all day.
i know, sounds crazy, and begs the question of what i have been doing for the last…forever, doesn’t it?
well…perhaps i have been a little lazy, or maybe i am just coming off an extra tiring weekend ( tangent warning – but fun! we had an awesome time on our little roadtrip, despite not buying shoes and the allergic reaction thing with the baby…) or maybe i just have a lot to do. or maybe it is because i just did things that i usually do not. like cook. garden. clean ( the DEEP kind of cleaning, not the regular tedious stuff ). organize. make the god damn dentist appointments.
what i did not do was take pictures or have the baby. very odd. the baby was at the sitters and the camera…was well, resting. for the first time in a long time i did not have any urge to pick her up today. as a matter of fact, i had very little urge to do anything picture related. i had the urge to make my home “right”.
unfortunately, i have not had that feeling in…years? so there is a lot to do. ooooops.
okay, it is not that bad. i believe i have been guilty of avoidance. of simply choosing the easy over the hard, remaining caught up in things that deliver me immediate satisfaction as opposed to making sure the things that will give me long term contentment are taken care of. well taken care of.
it is ridiculously easy for me to get caught up in my baby and cameralove, to the exclusion of everything else. i love to be distracted in a big way. hell, i love to be distracting. however, the time has come for me to buckle down i fear…
and that is a good thing.